May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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