Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
