I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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