Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize