Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
