I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
