just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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