Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
