she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize