i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
