peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
