if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
