There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
