I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
