Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
