I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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