is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
