i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
