GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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