what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
