I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
