I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
