Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
