i think my tv is drunk
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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