I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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