dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
it's great music for shaving your balls
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
