her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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