PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize