you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
