"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Use "feeling words"
Yay
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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