the day after is always just damage control
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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