yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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