guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
