I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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