All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
