the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
