Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
