So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
