im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I love having hate sex.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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