I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize