sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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