Just cropdusted the office
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
