I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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