Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Randomize
