You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize