i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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