ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
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