I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
