You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
