i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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