Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize