Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
