its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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