I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
