Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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