this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
