if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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