Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
