we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize